The Remembrance Tool
The Remembrance Tool
by R.S. Doaty
Remembrance is one of the most powerful tools in anyone's grief toolbox!
Memory is one of the most influential parts of our experiences of loss. Good or bad memories are like cool and warm air in a weather system. When they collide, they can create a violent storm.
The emotional storms that reside in grief are often rooted in the vivid memories surrounding the loss or possibly within the relationship itself at the time of loss. Our recollections of sights, sounds, smells, words, feelings, and even the time of year can act like icons on a computer screen, serving as shortcuts that take us back to a horrible experience. Our worst memories can become emotional landmines.
There is one sure way to completely wipe away one’s grief. All you need to do is erase any memory of the person you have lost and every experience you ever shared together, and your grief would be gone. But that’s impossible – and thankfully so!
If we wiped away every bad experience in our life, we would never learn, grow, or evolve into the people we are today. In the Book of James, we are told to: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
But what if remembering our trials causes us to suffer? Remembrance – a term used by Jesus at the Last Supper offers a clue. To fully understand remembrance, we need to dissect this uncommon word. The “re” refers to redirect; the “mem” refers to memory; the “ance” refers to processing. Jesus was preparing his followers to redirect and process their memory of what would happen on the cross, so they could fully grasp its true meaning.
The horror in terms of Jesus’ physical and mental human suffering was unfathomable. But why God allowed this was equally unfathomable. The creator of heaven and earth was willing to be tortured and killed by sinful men to overcome the sins of all mankind. But what if his followers were so traumatized that they only clung to the horrific crucifixion?
When God created mankind, he made our memories very malleable. We have an innate ability to re-remember our memories and process them so we can retain meaning in the good and filter out the bad, or at least find meaning, value, and purpose in what Satan intended as evil.
Remembrance was not only useful for the Disciples, but it could also be useful for you in your own grief experiences.
If you are plagued by traumatic memories, please understand that God, in his infinite wisdom, did not intend for this to be a lifelong burden. Remembrance is a powerful tool that you must master to deal with your grief!
by R.S. Doaty
Remembrance is one of the most powerful tools in anyone's grief toolbox!
Memory is one of the most influential parts of our experiences of loss. Good or bad memories are like cool and warm air in a weather system. When they collide, they can create a violent storm.
The emotional storms that reside in grief are often rooted in the vivid memories surrounding the loss or possibly within the relationship itself at the time of loss. Our recollections of sights, sounds, smells, words, feelings, and even the time of year can act like icons on a computer screen, serving as shortcuts that take us back to a horrible experience. Our worst memories can become emotional landmines.
There is one sure way to completely wipe away one’s grief. All you need to do is erase any memory of the person you have lost and every experience you ever shared together, and your grief would be gone. But that’s impossible – and thankfully so!
If we wiped away every bad experience in our life, we would never learn, grow, or evolve into the people we are today. In the Book of James, we are told to: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
But what if remembering our trials causes us to suffer? Remembrance – a term used by Jesus at the Last Supper offers a clue. To fully understand remembrance, we need to dissect this uncommon word. The “re” refers to redirect; the “mem” refers to memory; the “ance” refers to processing. Jesus was preparing his followers to redirect and process their memory of what would happen on the cross, so they could fully grasp its true meaning.
The horror in terms of Jesus’ physical and mental human suffering was unfathomable. But why God allowed this was equally unfathomable. The creator of heaven and earth was willing to be tortured and killed by sinful men to overcome the sins of all mankind. But what if his followers were so traumatized that they only clung to the horrific crucifixion?
When God created mankind, he made our memories very malleable. We have an innate ability to re-remember our memories and process them so we can retain meaning in the good and filter out the bad, or at least find meaning, value, and purpose in what Satan intended as evil.
Remembrance was not only useful for the Disciples, but it could also be useful for you in your own grief experiences.
If you are plagued by traumatic memories, please understand that God, in his infinite wisdom, did not intend for this to be a lifelong burden. Remembrance is a powerful tool that you must master to deal with your grief!
Posted in grief
Recent
Archive
2026
No Comments